So, as a Junior in High School… I was an ‘Upper classman’…
The school year is in its first few days…
Who actually goes to school those first days, while people are still figuring out what classes they need to be in, which ones are over capacity etc…?
I make my way to classes on the third day…
The ‘third period’ class, is English…
The instructor, Ms. Williamson, is taking ‘role’...
She calls out students by name…They respond to their name...
“Here”...
“Here”...
Then is offered the following:
Richard “dah lookah”...
No answer…
Richard “dah lookah”...?
From the middle of the room (I always sat in the middle, when I could) - She hears…
“Well everyone, this should be a very interesting ‘English’ class, if it is going to be taught and graded by a dyslexic”
The whole class laughs…
She must not have understood me... She says:
“Excuse me!?”
I proceeded to clarify my comment:
“Well that ‘L’ comes before the ‘D’, and the ‘D’ comes after the ‘L’ in my last name, and you read it the same way twice… it’s ‘LAH DOOKAH’...”
“...” (pregnant pause)
“And you WERE working your way through an alphabetical list of names - Unless someone slipped the letter ‘D’ in to that group of ‘L’s you were looking at… I figured dyslexic… I’m not ready for you to grade my work…
I thought she was going to lose it, but she retained her composure and asked me:
“Mr. ‘LAH DOOKAH’, - Did I say that right?”
Me: “Yes, perfect!”
Her: “Mr. ‘LAH DOOKAH’, do you prefer to go by ‘Richard’, ‘Rich’, or ‘Dick’ ?”
Of course in my head, I’m asking myself… “Dick?”
That’s what I said to myself…
It came out like this:
“Oh… Please… Call me ‘PENIS’!”
At the same moment that the class busted out in laughter...
Any composure that Ms. Williamson may have possessed, quickly subsided…:
“GET OUT!!!… GET OUT OF THIS CLASSROOM!!!”
My friend, Nathan, later told me that the class was unable to stop laughing, and Ms. Williamson had to leave the room… She never came back for the rest of the period.
I, of course, left…
- And went right into the office of the department head, Mr. Kelly
- And told him what happened…
He laughed the whole time he was finding me another ‘English’ class to go to.
Ms. Williamson refused to ever make eye contact with me again...
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